When Chris is away I can’t completely suppress those moments when my mind drifts to the “what if this was permanent?” reflection. It’s a sharp thought. He’s my best friend; I would never be the same. But the second thought is, I’d be in a whole heap of trouble.
He provides all the money this family needs to survive, he keeps close watch on our souls, he stands out in front absorbing the world for us. While this vulnerable thought struggles to turn into fear, it occurs to me that, actually, I am one free woman. Wrapped up snug in the walls of a Godly husband, I am free to fatten my children’s souls and prepare them for a life of service and worship to King Jesus. I am humbled by the situation the Lord has granted to me. Woe to me if I do not turn a profit on all the benefits he has afforded me. (Matthew 25)
This realization also has me thinking. Is a cost of freedom always vulnerability? Will we be free from government tyranny (who is no godly husband)? Then we must be ready to forgo their safety-nets. Will we be free from substance addictions (including food)? We must be vulnerable to our cravings. Will we be free to love God and neighbor? We must be vulnerable to death of self.
The good news is the Good News. Jesus not only died, but was resurrected. For the Christian, vulnerability can be felt but is not final. By freeing us from sin and it’s penalty, death, we are free through and through.